Home after surgery..

Dear Julie,

I'm sending you lots of love, sometimes it is good to know there are others awake and worrying in the middle of the night!

I've been having a challenging time with lots of good days and bad days and confusing days. I'm thinking of going on an MBCT course to help me cope with the emotional ups and downs.

I am also thinking more seriously than I ever have about the practicalities of going on the Camino pilgrimage which I've dreamed about doing for years but it was never the right time...

Thinking of you,

Clare xxx

Hi Kitjules,
When I am down my husband says, "I don't know what the point of life is, but I am sure it is not to be miserable". I try and remember this when I am crying. You are a young beautiful woman with a lot ahead of her. You may not be able to give birth to children, but there are a lot of different ways they can be in your life if that is your wish. Not perhaps what you want to hear right now, but I hope you can focus on healing well and finding other joys in life - because there are many to be had.
Love Lizzie
X

Oh hun my heart goes out to you. It must be so hard to have had that opportunity taken away from you. But Lizzie is right. And there are lots of children out there needing the love you have to give.
Life can still be joyful for you, so for now love what you have, and get well.

Gael xxx

Sorry to read your post, my heart goes out to you too. I have a different heartache in as much that I do have children so I face the terrifying prospect of me not being here for them one day. Its something I dont think about as it would drive me crazy.

Much love to you K x

Better days will come. You are just out of hospital. You are recovering from the anaesthetic which effects your mood and you have got a lot of healing to do. Your surgery has been life changing there is no getting away from that. But we are amazing creatures. You will be happy and fulfilled even if that sounds impossible now. You look beautiful in your photo.
Just concentrate on getting better now and trust that life will sort itself out.
Much love Sarah

Love the messages the other caring ladies have sent you and agree with them.Take it one day at a time while you heal and your spirit will lift as you recover.

Love and positive thoughts your way,
Dorothy

Be strong hun, I agree with all the kind comments that have been left. My thoughts were similar to sunny - initially I thought "I wish I didn't have my kids as then I wouldn't have to leave them behind"..Can you see what the anaesthetic/hormones/just the s****yness of it all can do to your head?
Seek support from wherever you can and in time you will fell better and up for the fight.
Sam x

Hi Julia,
I am also just home from surgery, having had both ovaries and tubes removed after being diagnosed with clear cell OC. I am also single and without children.
I just wanted you to know that you are not alone!
I totally appreciate how you're feeling, it's difficult to adapt to the emotional as well as physical changes we are going through right now, when we we're only just getting our heads round the shock of the diagnosis.
Be easy on yourself, get plenty of rest and take one day at a time.
I hope you have somebody at home with you to help look after you right now. My mum came for a while but has gone now and I'm starting to be able to do some enjoyable things like cooking and getting out for little walks in the sun when it shines (it is today!).
Starting chemo in a fortnight.

Please get in touch if you want to chat some more.
lots of love from Katy xxx

Hi Kitjules
I can empathise ...never managed to have any children myself, either after 32 years of trying. As the other messages imply, there is a lot you can do, and, as you begin to feel better, you will pick up in confidence and hope, I'm sure. I worked as a primary school teacher, so I "borrowed" other people's children and have a very close relationship with my nieces and nephews, but I won't pretend it isn't hard at times. Now, though, I value more than ever my husband, who is my best friend and support ever! I love being with family but I also admit to feeling great pleasure in going off independently all over the place and pursuing any interests that take my fancy. I help my elderly parents, do some voluntary work in a school and for Ovacome and enjoy life with my friends and family. You will have plenty of time to explore your feelings about children when you are feeling stronger. Maybe getting someone to refer you for some counselling, so you can talk through your feelings in a way that won't involve anyone you know, would be good for you. Stay strong! You have coped with a lot already and come through ...........
Hugs from Wendy xx

I wish I could hug each and everyone of you right now.. thank you so much for the words of support and comfort. Even though each of you have a heartache of your own to contend with, it never stops you from supporting someone else when they are down.. Most of the time I am ok, but sometimes the whole thing gets so overwhelming I can hardly breath. Reading your comments, reminds me I am not alone and helps me pull myself together!! I know I am going to be up and down more times than a yo-yo in the weeks to come, so you will have to ignore my rantings

The photo of me is my before shot.. before getting ill, before diagnosis, before chemo, before surgery... the person I once was, and the person I strive to be again....confident, strong and happy!! Healthy will be a bonus

One day at a time..

Julie xx

Hi Julie

I don't usually write on the wall but I recognise your feelings so well.

I'm now 61 but when I was 26 I was diagnosed and treated for low grade ovarian cancer. I had been married for 2 years and my dream was to have 2 children when we could afford it. That was before my world collapsed.

Indeed the future seemed very bleak and extremely frightening at that time. It took 9 years and enormous determination but at 36 we adopted our first 4 week old girl from halfway across the world and a second daughter followed 3 years later. I love my girls they have been a wonderful miracle in my life, I really did not believe I would ever get them. All you need is a man who is happy to adopt. There are quite a few, they don't all want someone in their own image so don't dispair just concentrate on getting better and let your thoughts evolve, take your time so you make the right choices for yourself. You need to heal your soul as well as your body, I think we all feel abused and savaged after surgery etc..

Personally, although it was a hard, hard road, looking back I wouldn't change a moment of it, my life has been blessed indeed.

I wish you all the luck in the world and send my love to you.

Lots of love

maggie xx

Dear Kitjules

I just wanted to add my message to the others. It's incredibly tough to recover from such major surgery at a very young age ... the hormones are kicking in and making you feel very fragile.

You do have a wonderful life ahead of you but for the moment you can't begin to imagine better times. Take heart. You will feel stronger as time goes by.

Loads of love xx Annie

still thinking of you kitjules and any other young woman who has been so attacked by this awful disease lots of love to you all. That doesn't remove the other horror of the older woman and I have had breast cancer as an older woman.Actually it is not the same as being young and beautiful and being stripped of your hopes and dreams and still trying to live in the world young people live in. It is all awful but there is something particular about the young woman who has her dreams shattered and her body is changed forever. Living in a world which is different is particularly difficult when you are young.If you want a chat do contact me maggie.bennett11@nbtinternet.com xxxx

Hi Kitjules
I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I really feel for you I was young as well when I went through my surgery and I was scared too. but now looking back it just seems like a really bad nightmare. You will feel stronger, it just takes time.
thinking of you
Rhian xxxx

Hi Kitjules
I feel quite humble at 65 seeing all you young girls suffering so. I'm sure you are still very beautiful Kitjules. Surgery and chemo take their toll intially like any other illness and then somehow you ARE back to being the you you never thought you would be again. There seem to be such words of wisdom from others who have had OC at a young age. All I can send is a hug
Suex

Hi Julie

It is so, so hard. My heart really goes out to you. The thing I struggle with most is the loss of assurance that I will be a mother one day - for me, this is much harder to come to terms with than the cancer itself. Let us hold on to the kind words of those who have written above and of those who have adopted children or found other ways to bring children into their lives. Wishing you all the best for your recovery -

Thinking of you,
Cat
xxx

PS When you are fully recovered and feeling stronger, maybe you might find the young womens' group a support? I see that you're based in the South-East anyway, so you wouldn't need to travel far! I've found it really helpful being with other younger OC girls who are all facing similar issues - maybe it might give you some support too.
Lots of love
Cat xxx